Tinubu, Did You Cause This Commotion?

My boyfriend is not ready to come and drop yam and palm oil in my father’s house…

Who is finding the energy to be subscribing from this place? This is not how life is nau. If you know you are the one, come and subscribe back 😒. Or is it network? 🤔

I know that there’s no way you missed it but I will still tell you because this is the first time I am actually going to type it so it’s just getting real for me. Tinubu is our president-elect. It’s safe to say he is the President because they will soon swear him in. So y’all start making yourselves comfortable because it is happening. I can’t say the same for me because somehow Tinubu emerging winner has affected my single life. Stay with me, this is going somewhere.

While INEC people were doing deliberations, I did not know that my parents were doing their own because why are they telling me to bring husband a day after INEC announced election results?

“Mummy, where is this coming from?”

“So if they don’t tell you, you don’t know that you will marry?”

“Are you people tired of me? You don’t want to be giving me money again abi. As a modern woman, there are certain things I have to put in place befor—

“Modern woman”

“Ma?”

“When did they born you?”

“Mummy you know when you born me nau”

“Are you working?”

“No ma”

“Can you fend for yourself?”

“Ahh”

“Do you have any business to you name?”

“No ma”

“Then shurrup your mouth”

So I carried myself to my boyfriend because I have to try my luck there first. Look at what this man is telling me because he has seen me finish. My entire future o.

He is not ready to come and drop yam and palm oil in my father’s house.

“Mummy I don’t have husband o”

“So all those boys that follow you, there’s no husband material inside any of them?”

“Which boys? The ones on Instagram?”

“Anyway, you remember Sadiq, Alhaja Ramatu’s first son? He came to meet your father about you”

It’s like my mama does not know that I am a spec because if it’s the Sadiq I think she is talking about, then she doesn’t like me at all 😒. That guy literally spews saliva when he talks and have you seen the way he dresses? No please.

“Wait o, mummy you people can find husband for me but you cannot find me job?”

“Didn’t I talk to Iya Barakatu on your behalf and you turned it down?”

“Mummy, I should go and be turning amala? With this my beauty?”

“You have something better to do?”

“Yes ma. I want to live a baby girl lifestyle”

“Go and live it in your husband’s house”

Modern woman in the mud. Las las it’s like they will marry me off. I feel like I will soon invite my boyfriend to my wedding. At least, let him come and eat rice.